Category: Odd Crap

I saw a guy get killed today

I was riding home from work today on my bus, listening to music and not paying attention to anything. As we were stopping at one of the bus stops, a girl in the back started screaming. I looked back and saw her pointing out the window, and I followed her stare. Out in a garden […]

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Challenged

I liked school I liked learning ideas that I never would have taught myself I liked being put in situations designed simply to challenge me I even liked being thrown into the grading process But now my school days are over And the assignments have stopped No one is forcing us to learn anymore It […]

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Snow was general all over Ireland

Yes, the newspapers were right: snow was general all over Ireland. It was falling on every part of the dark central plain, on the treeless hills, falling softly on the Bog of Allen and, farther westward, softly falling into the dark mutinous Shannon waves. It was falling, too, upon every part of the lonely churchyard […]

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Is Dustin really a puppet?

Late yesterday evening a rather drunk and angry Gay Byrne declared in front of everyone at the RTE Christmas party that Dustin, the loveable Turkey from Den TV, was really a puppet. It all began, it seems, when Soky, Zuppy and that new bloke, whom we shall refer to as Ray, started slagging Dustin about […]

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I hate my job!

My job is so fucking unbelievable. I’ll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with: First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely […]

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RTÉ’s summer schedule to raise temperatures

In an effort to boost flagging ratings, RTÉ is about to announce a new Summer schedule that is set to scintillate viewers around the country. Although the announcement was not to be released to the press until April, Mr. Slybacon, a disgruntled employee, leaked the information late last night whilst on the piss. RTÉ has […]

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RTÉ insiders leak Glenroe finale script

The amazing plot of the last episode of Glenroe has been revealed by RTÉ insiders. To mark the year of the series’ demise, writers have come up with an homage to the late Stanley Kubrick’s sci-fi epic 2001: A Space Odyssey. In true RTÉ style, no expense has been spared on effects and props to […]

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An open note to Packard Bell about Recovery disks

Evening, I made a complete balls of my Windows Install including the recovery partition, and the self made recovery DVD’s are scratched beyond recognition. Is it possible to get the CD’s off of you? Regards, Nick Hello, Thank you for contacting Packard Bell. Regarding your enquiry, For information about availability and prices, please call the […]

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RTÉ not to blame for Lally’s shame

RTÉ has hotly denied rumours that it drove former Glenroe star Mick Lally into prostitution. Station bosses have said that the long-running agri soap being axed  earlier this year is not responsible for the saggy faced actor, who played saggy faced farmer Miley Byrne, being arrested for soliciting men in the Phoenix Park last weekend. […]

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I’m Alive

I’m alive – and the world shines for me today I’m alive – suddenly I am here today Seems like forever (and a day), thought I could never (feel this way) Is this really me? I’m alive, I’m alive I’m alive – and the dawn breaks across the sky I’m alive – and the sun […]

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